Murder on the Orient Express doesn’t kill, but it is an entertaining vanity project from Kenneth Branagh. Mystery writer Agatha Christie’s super-detective Hercule Poirot has been resurrected with Branagh not only directing, but sporting the most outrageous version of Poirot’s prized mustache. This thing not only wraps around his face, but it even gets its own blanket at bedtime.
The well-known whodunit is staged on the legendary lavish train. There’s lots of polished wood, beveled glass, crystal chandeliers in the interior, and artsy CG shots of the exterior as the train rolls across the landscape. Cinematographer Haris Zambarloukas gets free reign to throw in more moody angles, reflections and focus with sweeping shots up over mountains and over the top of the train. This amounts to more style over substance.
Among the travelers is the instantly unsavory Edward Ratchett (Johnny Depp) who knows he’s marked for death. Sure enough, he becomes more than a pin cushion the first night on the rails. Poirot, the self-described “greatest detective in the world” takes the case to find the killer. Branagh and writer Michael Green throw in a few twists of their own, but the all-star cast is the real eye-catcher in this tale. There are Dames (Judi Dench) and Sirs (Derek Jacoby) along with Hollywood Royalty (Michelle Pfeiffer, Willem Dafoe, Penélope Cruz, Josh Gad, Daisy Ridley). And Branaugh makes an attempt for diversity adding Leslie Odom, Jr. as Dr. Arbuthnot and Manuel Garcia-Rulfo as Biniamino Marquez in the mix.
In his attempt to stay true to the original plot but appeal to contemporary audiences Branagh makes his Poirot a more satirical, wise-cracking character with limited success. There are a few good laughs. There’s an homage to the classic “A Priest, a Rabbi and an Iman Walk into a Bar” joke and a running gag about oeufs (eggs). We know Christie created the character with his facial hair as his crowning adornment, but, it’s hard to look at this Poirot and think about anything else. Frankly, the mustache is more of a distraction with too many lingering shots on his face.
When the train is derailed by an avalanche and is stuck on an obvious CG bridge over a huge gorge, Poirot has all his suspects trapped and he can work his magic. The fun of Agatha Christie novels is the misdirection as the detective unravels the case. Even if you know the answer, watching Branagh manipulate the suspects as he inexorably drives toward the solution is what keeps you in your seat.
There’s another level added to the solving of the mystery. Without giving a spoiler, when Poirot finally gets his answer he’s faced with a moral dilemma. It’s all wrapped up quickly and neatly in a brief monologue that may be tidy, but not very satisfying. Michelle Pfeiffer is really the only one who is really given a chance to stand out.
Murder on the Orient Express is a watchable, picturesque murder/mystery that is really more of a theater piece that didn’t need to be redone. It doesn’t go off the rails completely, but it’s not as smooth a ride as we hoped it would be.
20th Century Fox 144 minutes PG 13
