Despite very likable performances from Bryce Dallas Howard, Sam Rockwell and Henry Cavill, Director Matthew Vaughn (Kingsman) and writer Jason Fuchs (Wonder Woman) load the plot with multiple inane plot twists. Howard is striking with her beautiful blue eyes and ginger hair. Credit Vaughn for casting a hero who doesn’t fit the expected body type. Howard’s reactions run the gamut for all that her character has to deal with playing a creative spy thriller writer-turned damsel in distress in her own dire situations.
Elly Conway (Howard), is a superstar author who has crafted a series of spy novels for her fictional hero, super agent, Argylle (Henry Cavill in her imagination). Elly has a running internal conversation with her creation as she thinks out her intricate plots. For example, the movie begins, predictably, with a crash-tacular chase through narrow winding Greek Island roads and over rooftops featuring Argylle pursuing a sexy, sultry blonde named Barbie (Dua Lipa). Argylle gets help on the chase from his crack team, created by Elly, Wyatt (John Cena) and Keira (Ariana DeBose). Breath-taking action that goes nowhere.
The other first act set piece is on an Amtrak train. Elly, afraid to fly, takes the rails along with her feline companion Alfie (Vaughn cast Chip who is Claudia Schiffer Vaughn’s pet cat.) Elly is on her way to a big meeting when a disheveled but very glib Aiden (Sam Rockwell) sits down having one of Elly’s popular spy novels in hand. They become a team fighting off villain after villain in a heavy duty choreographed battle. Somehow they escape, but Rockwell sets the tone as Elly’s caustic protector. Only problem, Aiden is allergic and can barely breathe around weird-looking, lethargic, Alfie.
The story goes back and forth between reality and Elly’s imagination plus the misconceptions she has to deal with, while trying to discern who she can trust or not. She uses her mother (Catherine O’Hara) as a sounding board for her writing, but also calls in Mom and Dad when she gets in trouble. Now she and Aiden get into plenty of danger traveling to cities all over the globe. The reason for it all stems from a secret organization vying for control of the world led by the lethal meanie Director Ritter (Bryan Cranston). The MacGuffin that would expose his organization vying for power is what everyone is going after.
Confusion is so present and convoluted in this plot, like Elly, you’ll be shaking your head as to what’s real and what isn’t until you realize that Elly has a backstory of her own. There are some heavy duty action scenes that put Elly and her talents from the past to the test. They include ice skating on crude oil on makeshift skates while skewering bad guys leading to a neon multi-colored, smoke-billowing dance-off in slo mo with guns blazing. The awkward reactions on the characters’ faces make it even more absurd.
Cameos by the always affable Samuel L. Jackson, always scowling Sofia Boutella and upstanding Richard E. Grant add some familiar faces and celebrity to this film, but they’re gone in a flash. Great cast, but over-the-top contortion style stunt battles, and crazy plot line with too many endings. Vaughn keeps pretty, sweet Bryce Dallas Howard and caustic but charming Sam Rockwell moving on this confusing too long spy thriller. If you were hoping for a smart, crisp action-spy thriller this isn’t it. Watching this exasperating movie, we felt like saying “Arrrrrrrgh-yle.”
Universal Pictures 2 hours 19 minutes PG-13