In review

This Robin Hood turns the legend on its head. It’s cheesy, trite and not good. Oh, it’s packed with action, and loaded with A-list actors, but  sometimes you’ll find yourself guffawing at silly sayings that might be  intentionally campy or maybe just ludicrous. 

Otto Bathurst directed this tale of handsome, rich Robin of Loxley (Taron Egerton). He falls in love with Marian (not called Maid Marian here, played by Eve Newson.) She is stunning with striking ice blue eyes and smiles a lot. Robin’s a rich good guy. He’s drafted to go on the Crusades fighting brutal wars in the Middle East while the evil and greedy Sheriff of Nottingham (an ever sneering Ben Mendelsohn) steals every last piece of gold from the people in the name of Church and State. He also tries to steal every scene wearing a much too contemporary long gray leather coat.

The fight scenes are way too modern as Bathurst tries to make this an updated take on medieval combat. Robin fights Arabian warriors who can sling arrows with assault weapon speed and accuracy. They also have what appears to be a machine gun style arrow launcher. 

After years of fighting in the desert, Robin realizes the fight is neither holy nor just. His savagely brutal commander Guy of Gisbourne (Paul Anderson) is about to take pleasure in executing the son of the Moorish leader, ( Jamie Foxx.) Robin stands up to him pleading for the boy’s life and fails. That Moorish commander with a dotted tattooed face who sees his son die, eventually becomes Robin’s mentor here called Petit Jean (for Little John which sounds really silly).

There are so many continuity breaks and plot holes that one wonders if this is a finished script or an earlier draft that was rushed into production. The fact that this is the first feature from writers Ben Chandler and David James Kelly doesn’t excuse some of the glaring lapses in storyline like this one. 

Robin gets shot with an arrow and seems on the verge of death, but within a minute he’s able to fight and run. Really? And the ludicrous, simplistic line Marian delivers to Robin which is supposed to motivate him to take up the battle against the Sheriff brought laughter. “ If not you, who? If not now, when?” Did she look it up in a simple Google search?

Petit Jean teaches Robin new skills with a bow so he, too, can shoot arrows like a machine gun. The fight scenes are bloody and repetitive. The sound department must’ve been busy keeping up with putting in all the arrows hitting their human targets.

Marian shacked up with Will Scarlet (Jamie Dornan) while Robin was gone those years. His character is a true idealist looking to create a people’s revolution but he’s such an unsavory, depressed and depressing character, we lost interest in him. 

Neither campy nor fun, this Robin Hood got lost in the Forest and there’s a good chance you may not see him again.

Lionsgate    1 hour 56 minutes   PG-13

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